Water, Water Everywhere!

Swimming, boating, tubing, jet skiing, water skiing, wake boarding, knee boarding, jumping on a trampoline (in the water), swinging on a rope and dropping into water, fishing, canoeing, kayaking, splashing, diving, and spraying. There are so many things you can do to entertain you and your families with water and I have not even scratched the surface.

We are still a few weeks away from the first official day of summer. However, my family’s summer activities were jumpstarted this weekend when we visited Lake Anna, located about 90 miles South West of DC, thanks to some dear friends who hosted us. This was a momentous trip to the lake for our family, particularly our son Brice. Just shy of his second birthday, he experienced tubing, riding on a jet ski (with my arms clenched around his waist of course) and jumping repeatedly into the lake from the dock after being cued to do so by the ever so famous nursery rhyme that ends in “ashes, ashes, we all fall down”.

I really did not give Brice much of a chance to veto the water activities. I figured he was too young to be scared since he’d never fallen off a tube, been thrust from a jet ski or touched the bottom of a slimy, gritty lake. As a result, I had him jump in two feet, literally to overcome any anxiety he might have had of the water. I am however, reluctant to admit that he was not overwhelmed by the tubing experience and unbelievably he conked out asleep sitting up, while going 30+ miles an hour on a jet ski. That said, he did not really complain either and I am anticipating future breakdowns when he has to share turns or I announce it is time to go home for the day.

Every kid has their own personality including their own dislikes, likes, fears, anxieties, traits and idiosyncrasies. I can’t be guaranteed my boys are going to like everything their dad and I expose them to or that they will always want to partake in the activities we set out to do as a family. However, I will strive to expose the boys to as much as possible and after at least giving things a try, encourage the boys to draw their own conclusions and develop their own preferences. Trying is key because I can’t bear the thought of raising kids who are afraid of things.

So back to my initial rambling about water, this is many times the cause of fear and anxiety for people. I can’t imagine growing up being fearful of water activities, but I do recognize that many people have developed anxiety associated with drowning. My goal will be to seek out and attempt as many water related activities as I can think of to do with my sons with the hope of making them feel comfortable about water.

Water activities are synonymous with summer. At the beach you can go swimming, jump in waves, wade in the water, sail, surf, boogie board, rest on a raft or at the pool you can dive, play water games, compete in water relays, do water aerobics, play water polo or other sports like water basketball volleyball. Despite not having readily available access to a pool, lake or ocean, there are still plenty of other good, fun water activities to be enjoyed. Washing cars, running in the sprinkler, tossing water balloons, and squirting water guns are everyday water activities to be enjoyed in the backyard or at a local park. All you really need is a good hot, summer day filled with plenty of sunshine and access to some water to plan your water related activities.

Some water activities will be easy, some more difficult. I can’t promise my boys will enjoy all water activities, but I can promise I will expose them to as many water related activities I can think of and then have them decide when and how they will enjoy engaging in water activities throughout their lives. Bring on summer!

Be The Change in the World You Want To See

I suppose as women we have kids because we have this innate feeling of striving to make a difference and having an impact on something greater than ourselves. However, that feeling may never feel completely satisfied and as a result we are continuously yearning for ways to continue to make a difference in our neighborhoods, workplaces, or communities. The challenge is finding the time with all the regular responsibilities we are balancing to exercise our philanthropic desires.

I am fortunate that my employer facilitates a quarterly employee volunteer day. I had the opportunity to participate in one of these volunteer days yesterday. Our assignment was to work at a Habitat for Humanity ReStore (www.habitat.org) which is a resale outlet that collects donations such as house fixtures and resells the items to help fund Habitat for Humanity house construction. There are several ReStore locations nationwide and a majority of the stores are run by volunteers who work daily to stock and organize merchandise or work the store floor.

There are so many wonderful organizations that are in desperate need of help and thrive on volunteer support. Most organizations will take as much or as little time that people can give. Outside of the volunteer days scheduled by my employer, I rarely find time anymore to volunteer. As a result, I have researched volunteer options that include the ability to volunteer from home by providing online support or pro bono services. Organizations such as icouldbe.org allow you to be an online mentor for neglected high school students. As a volunteer, you can mentor up to 5 students online throughout the school year. You have the opportunity to communicate weekly with your mentees by sending emails and reviewing progress against activities that are developed as part of the icouldbe curriculum. The nice part about this program is that you can participate on your own schedule as long as you check in with your mentees weekly and provide regular feedback.

In addition to online volunteer programs, organizations are always looking for people who possess relevant skills to contribute on a pro bono basis. For example, my educational and professional experience are in marketing so I have helped one organization in particular, the US VETS DC develop and execute a marketing and outreach program to raise awareness and generate donations for the organization. Almost any non-profit would welcome similar support or other services such as accounting, legal, general consulting or financial advice.

My kids are not old enough yet, but in an effort to increase my ability to volunteer and to teach my kids the importance of giving back to their communities, in the future I intend to seek out volunteer activities that we can do together as a family. There are vast opportunities for parents and their kids to volunteer together in the community. Organizations or activities might include planting a tree for a school, playing games at the local retirement home, working at a pet adoption fair, cleaning up a local park, distributing flyers to generate outreach for an organization or passing out water at a race. The activity could be organized through an official organization or it could be an activity you decide to do as a family by gathering some friends and neighbors to make a difference.

Whatever your passion, there is likely to be an organization or activity where you can donate your time to make a difference. If your passion is kids, find a local hospital, school or park that might need help. Organizations such as The Children’s Inn at NIH (www.childrensinn.org), The Nation’s Children’s Hospital (www.childrensnational.org), or the March of Dimes (www.marchofdimes.com) are great organizations to seek out to learn about volunteer opportunities. If your passion is the environment, try the Sierra Club (http://www.sierraclub.org) or the Nature Conservancy (www.nature.org) . If your passion is animals check out the National Wildlife Federation (www.nwf.org), or The Humane Society (www.humanesociety.org). If your passion is health or helping to fight a prevalent disease try the Lance Armstrong Foundation (www.livestrong.org), Susan G. Komen Organization (ww5.komen.org), National Cancer Society (www.cancer.org), or the Michael J Fox Foundation (www.michaeljfox.org).

If you can’t spare time right now, you can still make a difference. Donate money, run a race to raise money or just become educated about an important cause and be an evangelist in the community for that cause. At the least you can strive to make a difference everyday at home and with everyone you encounter so that your positive attitude is contagious and encourages others to do their small part to make the world a better place.

Here We Go Round the Merry Go Round- A Trip to Glen Echo Park

Our trips to Glen Echo Park, MD are always centered around rides on the merry go round. This past weekend was the opening season for the merry go round at the park and Brice along with a couple of his buddies were among the first kids to break in the merry go round for 2010.

If you live in the DC metro area, I am guessing you have heard of Glen Echo Park. Up until last year when my first son, Brice turned 1, I had no reason to know about the park. In fact, my only exposure to the park prior to having kids was by accidentally parking my car in the lot while trying to have lunch at the Irish Inn (more on that later).

Like most of you, I am constantly looking for ideas and activities to keep my kids occupied (my younger son, Cole is too young to care but hopefully he reaps the benefits later of us checking out all the local activities and can eliminate anything that Brice does not enjoy). Glen Echo Park is just one of those local ideas that we have investigated as a family. If you are not familiar with the park and come upon it, you might think it is a ghost town, literally. Unless there is a special activity going on at the park, which fortunately is pretty frequent, the old amusement park looks desolate. However, from the first of May through early October, you can at least be guaranteed that the merry go round is open and that the playground is usable. The playground by normal standards is not really much, but since it is located adjacent to the merry go round, it offers a suitable alternative. I mean, how many times can your kids ride the merry go round? They might think all day, but you will either run out of money or eventually their short attention spans will wane. Despite there not being a lot to the playground, I do like the soft rubber surface and there are a couple of climbing apparatuses that are somewhat interesting. Of course there are a couple sets of swings and a small field to play on as well.

Aside from the merry go round and small playground, what else is there to do at Glen Echo Park? Before I get to the planned activities, I have to address the many picnic tables. The park is a great place for a picnic or even a birthday party. There must be close to 40 picnic tables. There is a small concession stand that sells your typical park food such as hot dogs, pizza and candy but if you are looking for something a little healthier, you’d better bring food from home. Of course if you don’t feel like a picnic nor are satisfied by junk food, you could always try the Irish Inn located next door (I told you I would revisit this topic). The Irish Inn is worth its own blog, but for now I will tell you that it is an authentic Irish restaurant that includes Irish favorites such as shepard’s pie, bangers and beans and of course plenty of Guinness. I believe most of the waiters are straight from Ireland, which adds to the experience. I highly recommend the restaurant whether you tack a visit on to a trip to Glen Echo Park or skip the park completely and simply go to enjoy the food.

Other than the Merry Go Round and the playground, I admit I don’t know much about the park. My step-dad, a Maryland native told me that the park was once a very popular amusement park. That is no surprise because the facade of the amusement rides, movie theater and candy stand still exist, they are just not typically in operation. Prior to being an amusement park, the location was a Chautauqua retreat. Clearly, there is a lot of history with the park.

Today, the park does play host to several festivals such as the Hot Jazz & Cool Blues Gala. Additionally, the park offers regular classes in pottery, painting, photography, glass art, music and textiles. There are often regular theater or puppet shows and dance activities. There is no shortage of educational activities, just be sure to check the park’s calendar so you are aware of what activities are planned.

I don’t really feel I’ve done the park justice by sharing my experiences with you. My family has not taken full advantage of everything the park has to offer. Maybe we will one day take a class, or attend a puppet show or even participate in one of the park’s festivals. In the meantime, we will continue to use the park for what my son enjoys the most, riding the “horsey’s” on the merry go round, being pushed on the swing set, climbing the jungle gym or just meandering around the big open space. A trip to the park usually means a stop by the Irish Inn, so I am always up for the visit.

Check out Glen Echo Park for yourself at http://www.glenechopark.org/index.htm or the Irish Inn at http://www.irishinnglenecho.com/.

I "Get" To

I get to take my kids to daycare. I get to fix them breakfast and dinner everyday. I get to wake up in the middle of the night to feed my 3 month old. I get to go to the grocery store every Sunday. I get to do laundry on the weekends. I get to work and commute in traffic. I get to run and exercise when I can. I get to change dirty diapers.

Did I start my sentences correctly? It sounds strange to me as I read these statements back to myself. What is different? I changed one simple word in each of these tasks that are on my automatic to do list. It is amazing that by changing “have” to “get” how much the meaning of the statement changes.

It really did not dawn on me just how much I was assuming a negative approach to my daily activities until this past week after reading the article, “Feeling Lucky” by Kristen Armstrong (Lance Armstrong’s ex wife) in the May issue of Runner’s World. I suppose I really don’t “have” to do anything other than breathe and eat and drink to fuel my body. Sure that sounds oversimplified, but think about how many activities we elect or get to do every single day that we take for granted.

The article was timely. The article came into my lap just a few days after learning that a close family friend has been diagnosed with Stage 3 lung cancer. A seemingly healthy, and active father, husband, colleague, son, coach and neighbor diagnosed with cancer. Unfortunately, it typically takes sad news to encourage us to reevaluate ourselves and put things in perspective. On a positive note, this same week I learned that another friends’ 15 month old son has no brain damage after undergoing an MRI that was recommended by doctors to give clarity on their sons slow progress with attaining many infant and toddler milestones. Bracing for bad news, my friend was in shock to learn that her son’s brain is completely normal and that his setbacks are likely only temporary and he is on his way to live a very long, healthy and happy life.

It is not like I needed a reminder just how cruel life can be or just how quickly life can change. I know I am not unlike many of you who have experienced tragedy and has had to remind myself just how lucky I am to have my family, my health, my friends, and my career which all give me the opportunity to do the things I love, like, tolerate or even dislike. There are many people who would love to go to the grocery store and purchase groceries for their family, but can’t because they do not have enough money. There are others who would give anything to be able to jog up a single hill, but can’t because they are paralyzed. There are many people who would love to change their baby’s diaper, but can’t because they lost their baby to a tragedy.

So now that I have depressed you, hopefully I can change your mindset by encouraging you to re-evaluate your daily tasks, take into consideration those less fortunate than you and remind yourself of every single think you “get” to do in a day, week, month, year or lifetime. I bet your list adds up to a lot of “gets” and very few “have” to’s. I hope I can inscribe this new mantra into my daily routine by reminding myself the next time I am feeling tired, overworked, over played, worn out, and unproductive, that I am the luckiest person in the world to “get” to change a diaper, prepare for a presentation, sit in traffic, cook dinner, or do laundry.

To view Kristen Armstrong’s article, “Feeling Lucky” in the May issue of Runner’s World go to http://www.runnersworld.com/article/0,7120,s6-243-297--13480-0,00.html

Family Activity Night

I was inspired to pull together some ideas for a weekly family activity night by a recent email received from a family friend (thanks Barbara). My friend, whose kids are now in high school and college reminisced about her weekly activity night with her “babies” after one of my previous blogs triggered her fond memories of these special evenings. She relayed how Monday nights were designated a special night for a family picnic in their living room. She said that her family replicated an outdoors picnic by “literally spreading a blanket on the floor-- we would either carry out stuff (McDonald’s of course!)--or carry out from our favorite local restaurant- McLean Family--- or whatever-- but we made it a tradition every Monday night.” Despite her kids being all grown up, to this day they remember their Monday family evenings with such happiness.

It does not matter what night of the week your family designates or what activities you decide to do together on family activity night. Instead, what is important is establishing at least one special night a week to do something together. I think establishing the same night every week to ensure a routine is also important. Weeks go by too quickly and despite everyone’s good intentions to carve out family time weekly, it becomes difficult to ensure this quality time is shared if it is not part of a routine.

There are so many things you can do as part of family activity night. Your family might enjoy establishing a weekly tradition of doing the same thing each week during your designated family activity night. Perhaps there is a special game everyone enjoys playing. If playing games are something your family enjoys doing together, perhaps family activity night becomes family game night. Other ideas for the weekly activity night might be a family movie night, TV dinner night or pizza night. Pizza night could be replaced with any special food your family craves that otherwise would likely not be at the top of a Jenny Craig diet plan. Maybe your family would like to have a reading night where you take a book and read it aloud as a family. If the kids are old enough, each can take turns reading aloud a portion of the book. You could visit a special playground together, take a family walk, or attempt something else outside. Alternatively, you could use the activity night to bake or cook something new that is shared amongst yourselves or delivered to a neighbor, friend, relative or prepared for classmates.

If your family is indecisive and likes to try many different activities, you might try what my husband and I use to refer to as “picking from the bag”. Even before the kids were born, we use to have a weekly “pick from the bag” night where we would collect a list of activities that we enjoyed doing together. The list was cut up into individual pieces of paper each with a reference to an activity that we liked to do. Activities included names of special restaurants, ideas for meals to cook and a list of things to do like go to the movies, rent a movie, go out for dessert, take a walk, go to the pool, go to the driving range and other ideas. We liked the idea of having several choices, but also liked the spontaneity of not knowing exactly what was planned for the evening. We knew we were going to do something during our weekly “pick from the bag” night, but there was an element of surprise because we did not know what we’d be doing until it was time to start the activity. You can institute the same concept for your own family activity night. Simply, poll the family on activities that everyone enjoys and capture them on individual pieces of paper that you then collect in a jar or bag that is used to pick from weekly on family activity night.

There are so many things you and your family could do on your weekly family activity night and I anticipate many of you could come up with more creative activities than I have suggested. I hope you will share some of these ideas for your own family activity night. Don’t stress about what you do or spend a lot of time planning. Instead, the activity is really irrelevant. What really matters is that you and your family are spending time to together.

Back to Reality

Taking things one day at a time never had so much meaning to me as it did today. Doomsday as I was subconsciously referring to the day this past weekend came and went and I am left with a little downtime prior to going to bed to start the cycle all over again tomorrow.

I was dreading today, the first day of daycare for Cole, just shy of 11 weeks old. Luckily, the routine was not too unfamiliar since I have been dropping off Brice, almost 22 months at the same daycare since he was 9 weeks old. I know Cole will be extremely well cared for and Graham and I could not be happier with the facility and caregivers.

I tried not to think about taking Cole to daycare this morning and returning to work this past weekend. We kept a busy schedule of visiting the playground, dining out, watching movies, and grocery shopping to minimize the amount of downtime I would have to stress and contemplate the inevitable. The details of today never really distracted me until this morning around 3:30 a.m. I woke for the first time, but not to the cries of Cole who has only managed two full nights of sleep since his birth, but instead to my unsettled thoughts about returning to work, dropping Cole off at daycare and reminiscing on several weeks of enjoying bonding moments with Cole. Cole did manage to sleep through the night for the second straight night and for the third overall night since his birth. However, I lay in bed silent and motionless until the alarm startled us at 5:30, the earliest it has gone off since January 26th, Cole’s birthday. Adrenaline had pumped in so I sprung from bed with an agenda. I managed a shower, not such a bad start, followed by preparing Cole’s milks for daycare, setting up breakfast for everyone, feeding Roxy, our dog and then on to help Graham wake the boys and then get them dressed with a few minutes leftover for me to blow dry my hair (an even better start) and get myself ready to conquer the day.

Now off to daycare. Graham and I did the drop off together today. Graham took Brice into his classroom and I took Cole to introduce him to his new daily surroundings. Brice erupted at the site of his class as he does most Monday mornings. What can I say, we pack his weekends full of activities and the attachment anxiety typically sets in Monday mornings until we are out of sight? Despite the potential of an emotional breakdown, I decided to face it head on and volunteered to take Cole back to meet his caretakers. The process was pretty seamless since I was already familiar with the routine from when we dropped Brice off several months ago. After checking Cole in I did not linger around, instead I shuffled out of the building without turning back. I knew a double take would trigger my own meltdown.

I failed to mention that not only was this Cole’s first day of daycare and my return to work after 11 weeks, but also my first day on a new job. I felt like starting daycare and returning to work was not enough stress for the family so I thought I’d add some excitement by taking on the challenge of a new job which brings a whole list of unknowns to include new commute, new co-workers, new responsibilities, new expectations and of course new emotions. Insights on the new job are worth its own blog comments. It is just worth mentioning here to emphasize the heightened emotions experienced by me and the family on this momentous day.

Today actually went off without a hitch. I think we are well on our way to establishing our new long term routine. Although I missed Cole often and even had to prop up a couple of temporary pictures of Cole on my desk until I get frames for them, I selfishly relished in the little freedom I had to check email, respond to questions, do research and dare I say, feel productive. Until I win the lottery, I am not ready to quit my day job. Different strokes for different folks, but today reaffirmed that although I love my boys more than anything; I am okay with returning to the office. I can now appreciate the very best part of my day again, picking Brice and Cole up and giving them a hug at the end of the day.

Good-Bye Maternity Leave

Wow, this is not going to be easy but life as I know it is about to change again! I am coming to the end of what is likely to be my second and last maternity leave. Luckily, I have been through the process of returning to work after being out on maternity leave in 2008 after the birth of my first son, Brice so I know what to expect, right?

I thought I did and as a result this last week as I reflect back on my time off and anticipate the dreadful arrival of next Monday, I still can’t help but feel incredibly sad about not spending every wakeful moment with my 11 week old son, Cole.

Eleven weeks at home have flown by. When you factor in a week spent at the hospital, being snowed in for a couple of weeks, day after day of diaper changing, feedings every two hours, failing miserably to get Cole on a regular nap schedule, attempting to teach Cole the difference between day and night, chasing my toddler, Brice around the house, trying to squeeze in daily workouts for myself, constant burping and rocking as a result of Cole’s gassy stomach, I can see how the days blended together and within what seems like a blink of an eye, my precious time at home with Cole has expired.

Like many of you, I set extremely high expectations for my time off. Have the fence fixed, get the cars serviced, put together a journal for Cole, begin a photo album of the boys, clean out every closet in the house, meet up with several friends during the week, plan our summer vacation, set up 529 plans for the boys and attempt to keep up on my social media accounts. However, as I look back on my long list, I notice very few check marks. What did I get accomplished during my time off?

It would seem that nothing was accomplished during my short weeks at home. However, when faced with the question and feeling completely unproductive over the past 11 weeks, it hits me like a slap in the face. Wake up! Okay, that may be difficult because I have also been in a trance of sleeplessness and have often referred to these early days as the fog. However, as the fog subtly lifts and I lose sight of my “mommy brain” to get myself back in gear to face reality, I also wise up to the purpose of what I was actually suppose to accomplish during these past weeks. House projects, meet ups with friends, and travel plans are all irrelevant. Maternity leave is called “maternity” for a reason. My time off was to focus on building the bond between myself and my precious new son, Cole. The purpose of this precious time was to introduce him to his new world, get him comfortable with his surroundings, introduce him to various routines such as a sleep and eating schedules, settle him when he is fussy, read to him, sing songs to him, rest him on my stomach, log tummy time, smile at him, encourage him to coo and smile back. Each one of these milestones was a significant accomplishment for both Cole and me.

So I return to work with a long to do list that continues to grow. Some of the activities will eventually be addresses, others will be de-prioritized and eventually confirmed irrelevant. I am happy to admit that my "honey due" list was virtually ignored because it confirms that my time was wisely and emotionally spent building memories with Cole. Of course I am going to miss spending every day with Cole, but I know I will cherish each moment even more with him since our moments together will be more finite. I also know that returning to work is an inevitable milestone that needs to occur before Cole starts hitting many of his crucial goals like sleeping through the night, crawling, and walking. My husband equates my going back to work like running an out and back race, “you know you can’t reach the finish until you hit the turnaround.” My turnaround is returning to work and my finish line is infinite. Instead it is the miles and miles I have the opportunity to cover with Cole, his brother Brice and my husband Graham during our lifelong journey together. Although manic Monday awaits, I am excited to move onto our next phase together.

My Family "100 Things" List

All right, I get it! Despite today’s sleepless nights of every two hour feedings, temper tantrums over a pacifier, uncontrollable screaming while sucking enormous green boogers from my son’s nose, and throwing food from a high chair to announce dinner is over, one day I will reflect back and actually miss these moments. It is not like I want time to speed up, although I’d be lying to you if I said that I am actively living in the present and enjoying these difficult and stressful moments. It is not until I am reminded by family, friends, co workers and random strangers that kids grow up so fast, that I breathe a sigh of relief, attempt to count backwards from 15 to 1 to relax and then relish the crying, screaming and whining. It is difficult to believe now, but there will soon be a day when my boys plead with me to drop them off at the corner to avoid being seen with mom or when I lean in to give them a kiss, they turn their heads or when I attempt to engage in conversation and am met with one word responses that I will yearn for those early memories when my kids were solely dependent on me and my husband. According to just about every parent I encounter, kids grow up fast so enjoy every moment with them, even the bad ones.

Knowing that my kids will grow up fast, I am determined to form more good and fulfilling memories than bad and forgetful ones. Prior to the birth of my two sons, I had been keeping what some might call a “bucket list”. Since I was only in my 20’s when I started the list, I prefer to call it my “100 things” list because the bucket list to me sounds more like a list formed by individuals who late in life realize that their days are numbered and that they’d better get out any enjoy themselves before it is too late. My “100 things” list consisted of places to see, activities to try, and milestones to reach. One of my “100 things” was achieved on June 15, 2008 when Brice, my first son was born. It was then that I decided to modify my “100 things” list to include the things I want to make sure I do with my kids before they no longer want to be seen with me in public.

The list does not have to be formal. Instead, the act of spending time to identify the activities, places to visit and things to do with your kids is what matters most. As you set out to create your list, you will likely have several initial activities that come to mind, some of which you have experienced on your own but want to make sure you introduce to your kids. However, your list is likely to grow over time. I am one of those people who are gratified daily by being able to check items off the list so it is not uncommon for me to add things to the list that have already been achieved just to feel that rush of accomplishment as I check through the item. If your kids are older, make creating the list a group activity where everyone shares ideas of what activities, places to see etc. that each member wants on the list. Today, my list is collaboration between my husband and me. However, since our family “100 things” list is still growing, there will be plenty of time for us to engage our kids for ideas once they are old enough to contribute.

Looking for ideas to start your own family “100 things” list? Think about your family values and what is most important to your family. This will help you get to the core of what experiences, life lessons and things you want to make sure you expose your kids to over their lifetime. There is no timeframe in which the list has to be completed and although there is the sense that a timer will go off once our kids turn 18 and are shipped off to college or move out of the house, there are some things that might not be appropriate or appreciated by our kids until they are adults. The list should be a living list that adapts with your family. There is no rush to complete the list, instead focus on the journey and process of putting the list together and thoroughly enjoying each and every activity on the list as you complete the activities as a family.

Our family list is all over the place. It includes several places to visit because travel is something we love to do, but it also includes activities that provide a subtle lesson or learning experience. To give you an idea, the following are some of the items that have already made our family “100 things” list:

• Take a trip abroad
• Teach to snow ski
• Get the kids their own library cards
• Teach to drive stick shift
• Hold a job before college
• Take horse back riding
• Buy and own their own pet
• Teach to sail
• Volunteer together
• Teach to write “thank you notes”
• Research our family tree and learn about heritage
• Ride a roller coaster together
• Teach to cook and do household chores
• Take a self defense class
• Play an instrument
• Teach about saving money
• Visit – Grand Canyon, New York City, US National Parks, Disney World, Hershey, PA
• Open a lemonade stand in the neighborhood
• Keep a journal
• Lie in the grass and watch the clouds go by

Some items will items will take years of planning and will be achieved over time, some will be checked off spontaneously, however each will be enjoyed thoroughly.

We have an ambitious list and I only hope that we have the chance to achieve all the things as a family that we have set out to achieve. However, it is not the actual activities that are really important to me. Instead, what really matters is that my kids are exposed to many experiences that will help them to grow into independent, responsible, happy adults who strive to make a difference in their communities. It is an added bonus that in the act of teaching these values, we get to see the world together, learns new skills and builds life long family memories.

The next time someone utters to you, “kids grow up so fast”, hopefully you can reflect on your own family “100 things” list and respond, “I know, that is why I am planning to do everything I can to enjoy every moment and experience with them”.

Wine and Kids: They Can Go Together!

I love wine. I love my kids. However, rarely can I love them together at the same time. Or can I? With a little creativity and research, perhaps the two can be loved together.

It is never too early to teach your kids about wine appreciation. Getting kids to enjoy the same things we enjoy can be tough, but if we can identify ways to mix our interests with our kids interests, it just might work.

Enjoy Virginia Wines

Virginia is home to 157 wineries. In Northern VA, where I am located, there are 49 wineries mostly near Leesburg and Middleburg, both nestled in beautiful countryside. I doubt kids would be overwhelmed by the experience to be dragged from winery to winery while you taste and explore wines and they are left watching you as they suck grape juice from a sippy cup. Additionally, it is likely to be too stressful to taste and attempt to chase your kids around the tasting room, uttering “No, don’t touch that” or “keep your hands in your pockets, that is breakable”. Instead, you can plan out a local weekend wine adventure by keeping both your interests and the kids’ interests in mind so that everyone has an enjoyable time.

Planning Your Family Wine Activities

You have a couple of options when it comes to exploring wineries and their wines. You can plan your family wine adventure around an upcoming local wine festival. Alternatively, you can plan your own wine tour around visiting your local wineries or wine tasting events. Wine festivals are typically during the day and offer activities for everyone in the family. It is not uncommon for wine festivals to include arts, crafts, food, face painting for the kids, music, dancing and of course plenty of wine tasting. The festivals mostly take place on large fairgrounds with plenty of room for kids to frolic and run around. Virginia alone has several annual wine festivals and the following is a list of annual festivals in the DC metro area. For a complete listing of Virginia wine festivals go to http://www.virginiawinefestival.org/.

Northern Virginia Wine Festivals

DC's Holiday Wine Mall - holidaywinemall.com
Virginia Wine Showcase — VAWineShowcase.org
Great Grapes Wine Festival - UnCorktheFun.com
Mount Vernon Sunset Tasting — MountVernon.org
Virginia Wine & Craft Festival — WineAndCraftFestival.com
Vintage Virginia Wine Festival — VintageVirginia.com
DC's Wine Country Festival— VAFoodandWine.com
Manassas Wine & Jazz Festival — VisitManassas.org

Plan Your Own Family Wine Adventure

Planning your own family wine adventure is a fun alternative to attending a festival. Research your local wineries to become familiar with their activities and planned events. Included in your own family adventure could be a family picnic at the winery, time to run and play games on the winery grounds or a visit to the winery’s farm. Many wineries also grow produce and house animals such as horses. If so, plan to spend time touring the winery’s surroundings to check out the animals and other sites the winery has to offer. Reviewing the individual winery’s calendar of upcoming events is useful because wineries do host regular activities and events such as berry picking, concerts, hay rides or special family events surrounding holidays such as Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas. Also, if your kids can handle it you might consider taking a wine tour at one of the wineries. You only need to take one to get the gist of how grapes are grown and converted to wine. However, the tour will come across like a school field trip for your kids and who does not enjoy a field trip (as long as there is no test at the end)? For a list of Virginia wineries and their scheduled events go to http://www.virginiawine.org/. My favorites are Tarara Winery (www.tarara.com) and Breaux Vineyards (www.breauxvineyards.com). Both offer beautiful views, good wines to taste and often host weekend activities.

Host Your Own Wine Tasting Play Date

Finally, if you are not up for a festival or a trip to a winery, create your own family wine experience at home by adding a little adult entertainment to your next kids’ play date. You can host a wine tasting or wine party during the afternoon or happy hour time and invite parents to bring their kids. The kids can partake in a regular play date, while parents try different wines you selected for a wine tasting. For your own wine tasting you can identify a theme such as selecting wines from around the world, from a specific region or comparing wines from various regions. Try to prepare and select foods that reflect the wine regions you are featuring for your wine tasting. For tips on hosting your own wine tasting event try http://wine.about.com/od/holidayswithwine/ht/Winetastingpart.htm.

Whether you attend a wine festival, plan your own wine adventure, or host your own wine tasting and play date, cheers to you and your family for combining your interests and planning a fun activity together.

The Greatest Show on Earth, Not Quite Remembered

I chose not take the advice from friends who suggested taking a 21 month old and a 2 month old to the circus this past weekend would be a bad idea. “They won’t even make it to intermission.”

Although correct in that my 21 month old, Brice was over stimulated about 30 minutes into the show and did not make it to intermission, I do not regret the experience. For the initial 30 minutes of the show, my son Brice was on the edge of his seat. This was the first time he had been to a show of this magnitude where he was given the opportunity to sit in his own chair. His little legs barely dangled off of the end of chair, as he clutched one of his plastic animals which I believe was a cheetah that he brought from home and he had his baseball cap pulled down low, just barely above his eyes. You might say that he was sleeping with his hat pulled down so low and frankly I would normally agree because we can barely get him to wear his hat on any other occasion. However, he refused this time to even let us adjust the hat. Instead, he held on to it tightly as if to be in his own little zone. Each time I peered under his hat, his eyes were wide open in amazement. He also had his fingers pointing emphatically at every animal, clown, performer, light and automobile that entered the stage.

As the animals came out one by one, “horsy”, “zebra”, “elephant”, “doggy”, followed by sounds “Nah” and “Ruff” (I have not mastered translating a zebra or elephant sound for my son to practice), Brice shouted out in excitement. For 30 minutes Brice was completely engaged in the experience and was enjoying himself. I suppose that was all he needed to appreciate the experience of the circus. I knew going into the event that we could be there for all of 5 minutes or at the most to struggle to get to intermission. Brice instead lasted somewhere in between. I could have waited another 4 years until Brice was older to ensure that he would stay in his seat and last for most if not the entire circus. However, I am convinced that these early experiences and exposure are significant learning opportunities for Brice. He may not remember his 1^st circus visit when he reaches adulthood or even in a few years, but he will remember words he picked up like clown, dancer, fire and others and may associate these words later in life with things that he saw this past weekend at the circus.

Despite Brice not remembering much if any of the experience to tell his friends and family later, I guarantee I will never forget this fond memory of taking my sons to their first circus. I will especially recall cherishing the excitement on Brice’s face as the animals took center stage. I will be able to remind Brice of these memories, as he forms his own recollection of similar experiences, once he gets old enough to remember for himself.

Why wait to take kids to the zoo, aquarium, circus, and a musical performance, or on a special trip until we know they will be able to capture their own memories? Instead, I say use these early events and activities as learning experiences to help your young ones pick up new words, emotions and feelings that will be remembered for a lifetime.

On to our next family activity….a concert!

Odd and Even

I mentioned previously that I am a new mom so I am playing catch up on many concepts and ideas to make life easier for my expanding family. Although my kids are still young, 21 months and 2 months, it is never too early to identify a plan for settling those much-anticipated arguments. With my kids being only 19 months apart I am prepared for my boys to “love to hate” each other.

Recently I was in conversation with someone I met at a work function, not expecting to receive parenting advice. However, with the topic of having a newborn on my mind, it was sure to creep into the conversation. The man I was speaking with has two elementary school aged children and proclaimed to have the best advice for me to be summed up in three simple words “odd and even”. He could see I was perplexed and preceded to ask the birthdates of my two sons, “Jan 26 and June 15” I responded.

Although not a prerequisite to the odd and even theory, it certainly helps settle the initial argument of who takes odds and who takes evens. The concept is that all differences are settled upfront because with two boys, Cole, born on an even day, he gets to choose what we do on even days of the year and Brice, born on an odd day gets to choose what we do on odd days of the year. What cereal should we buy, what should we have for dinner, which park should we visit, what game should we play, what should we have for dessert, who picks the story? Such simple questions that are sure to cause confrontation amongst two young boys will now be easily settled. For an odd numbered day, Brice chooses and for an even numbered day, Cole chooses.

Ingenious! I know I won’t need to leverage this concept for a while, at least until both my boys can speak and begin to realize they have choices. However, I can breath a sigh of relief knowing that I already have a solution to address everyday confrontations associated with differing opinions and desires. I recognize that the odd and even theory is not the answer to all things, but introducing the concept early in my boys’ lives will hopefully help alleviate many of the everyday battles that could erupt.

If you have more than two kids, perhaps there are other similar concepts you can use to generate your own “odd and even” theory.

What other life changing theories are out there that I can store up now for when my boys get older? Care to share?

Traditional Traditions

What is a tradition? Is it serving a certain dinner at Christmas, taking an annual summer vacation together, or having a weekly family game night? I suspect that a family tradition is all of these things. Looking at an official definition, a tradition is a custom, belief or activity taught by one generation to the next. Each one of us has our own traditions that we have established and probably our own definition of a tradition.

We are almost one quarter a way through 2010 and typically my family reflects upon our goals and outlook for the coming year right around New Year’s. We are not late this year in doing so and have a running list of household and family goals for 2010 that range anywhere from repaving the driveway to going on a family vacation this summer. However, it was more recently that I began reflecting on family traditions when prompted to do so while reading the book, Bright From The Start: The Simple, Science-Backed Way to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind from Birth to Age3” by Jill Stamm, PH.D, which included a section on establishing and maintaining family traditions.

Growing up, I shared family traditions with my parents that included going to Grandma and Grandpa’s house in New Jersey for a big Thanksgiving dinner where all my Aunts, Uncles and cousins would gather. Another family tradition included an annual weeklong summer family vacation to Ocean City, MD. This annual vacation included several activities that I highly anticipated each year such as a visit to the water slide park, a walk on the boardwalk accompanied by my favorite junk food, at least one trip to Jolly Rodgers, the amusement park, and dinner at Fager’s Island to watch the sunset. Other less formal traditions were a trip to Wendy’s after soccer practice with my teammates, dinner together at the kitchen table when we were home to eat, and annual Easter egg hunts in my parents’ house.

Reflecting on my own family traditions from when I was a kid made me begin to think about the traditions I have established with my kids or would like to establish as they grow older. It occurred to me that my husband and I unknowingly had already begun to establish our own family traditions that have carried on even before our sons were born. We have been visiting NYC at Christmas time during the first week in December for the past 6 years. We host my parents for Christmas Eve dinner annually. We have a full cooked breakfast on Christmas morning prior to opening any gifts (as the kids get older I recognize this tradition will be impossible to keep). We visit our alma mater, William and Mary annually for Homecoming weekend. We have a pizza night every Thursday where we get take out and watch television together. We are not regular coffee drinkers, but thanks to the birth of our first son we were introduced to Dunkin Donuts Iced Coffee and have managed to crave it occasionally. As a result, Friday mornings have become Donut and Coffee mornings. There are probably a handful of other things we do regularly that I would now classify as a family tradition.

Now that my husband and I have a head start on instituting family traditions, we have identified other holidays and things that we would like to introduce over time as family traditions. I want us to have a list of traditions that include what I like to call “everyday” traditions and also special occasion traditions. Some traditions under consideration include our own annual summer beach vacation, a new brunch meal every Sunday at home, family participation in a race on Thanksgiving day, volunteering together at the holidays, take a family picture at each of my kids birthdays that I can save and put in an album, write a letter to each of my kids each birthday, have a weekly family activity night where we pick from a bag of random ideas, go out for dessert one night per week during the summer months, have a movie night as a family where we simulate being at the movies to include our favorite goodies, keep a family journal together, and do a craft with the boys to give to dad each Father’s Day.

Some of my long list of traditions may stick, some may not but the important thing to us is that we implement traditions that our kids enjoy and will one day share with their own families. The idea is to pass along the traditions between generations and have you kids and grandkids add to the list. My family plans to review our list of traditions annually as part of our regular New Year’s outlook to determine what traditions are working for the family, which traditions we like or don’t like and which we should consider adding to the running list. Our annual review of the family tradition list will become its own tradition to pass down to future generations.

"Don't Just Stand There, Bust A Move"

My toddler son will jiggle a leg or bob his head to just about any beat or sound, even a commercial selling dishwasher detergent or carpets as long as the commercial has a catchy tune. Busting into a dance off with my son is an activity that keeps us occupied on any rainy, snowy or even sunny day when we just need to burn off some energy. My son absolutely loves dancing with mom and dad and ignites with excitement and laughter when mom or dad pump up the music and showcase the dance skills we picked up years ago at a fraternity party or worse, a high school dance. He does not care if his parents can’t dance, he only cares that we try and dance with him.

Although not a huge hassle, we don’t always take the time to put in a CD (who uses CD’s anymore anyway) or plug in our laptop to the stereo system to play songs from our iTunes library, instead we have found the music channels available on our TV to do the trick. With my cox cable, these channels are in the 400s and range anywhere from party favorites (some oldies, but goodies) to country, to R&B, to rap to dance music. There are children’s channels and every decade from the 50’s to today are represented. You might even find some of your old favorites on these channels that help you reflect on your high school, big hair days. It is so easy to go to one of these channels and to start our dance off. Another recommendation is the Palladia channel (http://www.palladia.tv/) if you have it. This channel shows live concerts all day long so not only do you hear the music, you see the artists as well. My son enjoys watching the performers every once in awhile as well. Although I think he prefers to just watch himself in the mirror or to watch mom and dad make fools of themselves.

Next time your kids feel like “getting’ jiggy with it”, encourage their behavior and join in. Don’t wait for a rainy day or a time when your kids are bored, instead make dancing together a regular routine to burn off energy, get some exercise and simply to be silly together.

We Love St. Patrick’s Day in Washington, DC

When you think of cities that pride themselves on St. Patty’s Day celebrations what cities first come to mind? Boston, Chicago, NYC (not sure exactly what NYC does to celebrate but since the city does every other holiday big I figured it does something), Savannah (I have been to Savannah during St. Patrick’s Day so I know firsthand that they throw quite a celebration for the day) and Washington, DC.

Washington, DC, you ask? Yes, believe it or not, I do mean DC. Actually, in such a diverse city with a lot of heritage and culture, it is not too surprising that Washington, DC is the host of several St. Patty’s Day festivities. For families, the highlight of the St. Patty’s Day festivities are both the parades held in Alexandria VA on March 6^th this year and Washington DC, called the Nation’s St. Patrick’s Day Parade on March 14^th

^{(http://dc.about.com/od/stpatricksday/a/DCStPatricksDay.htm.)}

^{Additionally, Manassas, VA on March 13th http://www.stpatparade.net/ and Gaithersburg, MD on March 13th http://dc.about.com/od/stpatricksday/a/GaithStPats.htm also host their own St. Patrick’s Day parades. Finally, DC hosts the annual Shamrock Festival, held March 13th which includes activities for the entire family such as 40 live bands representing all genres, carnival rides and games for kids. There is truly something at the Shamrock Festival for everyone. For more information go to http://www.shamrockfest.com/2010/}

My favorite is the St. Patrick’s Day parade held in Alexandria, VA, which is a true celebration of the Irish-American heritage. The annual parade, held March 6^th goes from 12:30 p.m. – 2:30 p.m. kicks off with a Classic Car Show Competition that begins at 10:00 a.m. followed by a dog show that begins at 10:30 a.m. and concludes just prior to the start of the parade. The parade provides everything you would expect from a St. Patrick’s Day parade to include marching bands, bag pipes bands, Irish dancers decorated in beautiful costumes and plenty of green and orange. However, my favorite part of the parade has to be the marching of what seems like hundreds of Irish Wolf Hounds that are represented in all sizes. The kids really get a kick out of watching these not so common dogs strut their stuff.

One of the best parts about the Alexandria parade is that it is always held the first Saturday in March, which offers a great way to kick of the St. Patty’s Day festivities. Most other local activities take place the following weekend, or the weekend just prior to St. Patrick’s Day. By the time March hits in DC, we are ready to say good-bye to winter. Despite Spring still being a few weeks away, this year in particular us Washingtonians are more than ready to launch into Spring. What better way to get an advanced step on Spring than to get out to the parade in Alexandria? No matter how cold it is, participants will just be happy to be out and about.

The annual event is hosted by the Ballyshaners, a not-for-profit group. For more information about the Ballyshaners go to www.ballyshaners.org or for information about the parade go to http://alexandriava.gov/news_display.aspx?id=30828

Let me know if I have missed any fun and festive St. Patty’s Day activities in the DC area. Not in DC, share your own hometown St. Patrick’s Day traditions, stories and local fun activities.

Keeping Up With Milestones and Encouraging Regular Playtime

My two sons are still pretty young so I am compelled to regularly track how each of them are progressing against their age appropriate milestones. Is my newborn getting enough tummy time? Does he follow my finger when I slowly move it across his face? Can he see my face? Does he respond to my silly gestures? Similarly, I hope my toddler aged son is learning enough words in a day, can throw a ball, can kick a soccer ball, can jump, do puzzles. AHH! There is so much to practice and stay on top of with these boys so they don’t miss a beat or fall behind. It is amazing how much our little ones learn and process in a short period of time. I feel as though I stopped learning years ago and each week, month, year goes by and I think did I really learn anything? Certainly, I am no longer learning and progressing through such huge milestones that would rival learning to crawl, stand up, walk, run or talk.

How do I keep up with all these milestones and ensure that my boys are progressing, as they should? It is tough, but I have conditioned myself to review the list of age appropriate milestones at least once per month. There are various resources such as http://www.babycenter.com/ that offer a suggested list of milestones that you can download and follow for your own kids. These resources typically begin with newborns and go through school-aged kids to include various milestones and activities such as language development, physical development, nutrition recommendations etc. I have printed off the milestone charts for both my boys and attempt to review this list monthly.

Each week, I try to research or come up with one new game or activity that I can try with each of my boys. This takes a little time on Sunday afternoons as I plan out my week, but it is worth the time to pull together one new activity that we can do together or that I can do with each of them separately that either helps with one of the milestones or simply provides an opportunity for us to have some fun. I recognize that every interaction is not suppose to be a learning experience so I am often looking for simple games that simply encourage us to spend time together. The activities are very simple and are things we can do in the evenings after works and school. I have a list of go to resources where I can pull new games or activities or if I am bored with these resources, I do an online search for games and activities. I have a running list of these activities that I can typically leverage in a pinch so I don’t have to research weekly. The games are super simple and include ideas like playing charades, I spy, imitation of words and sounds etc. As you can see, the activities are not too complicated but the idea of spending a few minutes to identify a couple of things to do with my boys or to practice helps to ensure that we are tracking against the milestones and more importantly that we are spending some dedicated time during our weeknights together. Some resources I use to develop this list of games/activities include: http://www.babycenter.com/0_lets-play-weekly-activities-for-your-babys-first-year_1501475.bc, http://www.sproutonline.com/ www.parentingweekly.com, www.gorp.com. I also recommend the books “The Secret of Play” by Ann Pleshette Murphy and “Bright From The Start” by Jill Stamm, PH.D.

Why the "Saturdays With Brice and Cole" Blog

“This is the Time to Remember because it will not last forever….”

If we had a nickel for every time someone said to us, “cherish the time with your kids, they will grow up before you know it”, we’d all be extremely rich. For those of you who already are extremely rich, good for you but you would still be richer. It will seem like a microsecond before we are shipping our last kid off to college, attending one of our kids’ weddings or dare I even mention becoming a grandparent. As you rock your newborn feverishly so that both you and he can salvage a couple hours of sleep or you find yourself cleaning your toddlers mess after he reverted back to going to the bathroom in his pants despite several successful months of being potty trained or you attempt to reason with your kindergartner on what is appropriate to wear to school since her style falls somewhere between Cyndi Lauper and Pipi Longstocking’s, we all sadly know that one day we will miss these moments. It may seem like an eternity from now, but inevitably, we will all find ourselves reflecting upon our children’s milestones and youth by uttering the words, where did the time go?

Why Blog About Family Activities?
In a busy world where our weekdays are full of work, school, sports, community responsibilities and other activities, it is no surprise when our energy wanes as we struggle to identify creative and fun activities that we can share during our free time with our families.

Where to go for ideas?
Who says you have to leave your city, neighborhood or even your own home to find fun activities and capture countless memories to fill photo albums, video footage and stories to be told during family gatherings for years to come? However, without the time or idea of where to go for ideas, we find ourselves struggling to ignite creativity, spontaneity and excitement to fill our moments with our kids and instead resort to doing the same old things. What should I do with my kids today since it is raining outside? We are stranded inside for the weekend as a result of a massive snowstorm and how are we going to keep the kids occupied? We want to adopt some family traditions of our own, but where do we start? Where should we take the kids for a family vacation? We feel like doing something new and exciting this weekend with the kids, what are some ideas?

There are so many ideas of activities to help foster fun and build memories with our kids; we can’t possibly be expected to develop a comprehensive list of ideas alone. Why should each of us have to conduct the research and develop our own lists when we can share our ideas amongst a network of families who are all looking for ideas on new, exciting activities to share with our kids to strengthen the family bond and ignite some fun?

Local and Far Away Fun
I am local to the DC area so some of the thoughts I intend for this online community to share include activities specific to DC. DC and its surrounding areas offer so much history, culture, cuisine, and fun opportunities, that it is impossible as an individual to keep up on all the local special events, shows, performances, parades, festivals and activities. So if you too are local to DC, feel free to share your thoughts and experiences with local activities, places, museums, parks, restaurants and playgrounds. DC has many things that other cities have to offer as well, so if you are not local to DC don’t be turned off, instead some of the local DC ideas might be relevant in your town as well or you can receive a list of ideas of things to check out on your next visit to the nation’s capital.

Tell One, Tell All
Anything you do with your kids, please capture these moments and share with us your feelings, thoughts, recommendations (good or bad), and opinions. If you check out a new playground, attend a children’s performance, try a new craft, cook a meal with your kids, take a kid friendly vacation, discover something fun to do with your kids on a rainy day, or get your kids to try something you like to do, I encourage you to share your experiences with our community.

Thank you for your interest and support. I look forward to trying out your favorite family activities and to blogging with you.