My Family "100 Things" List

All right, I get it! Despite today’s sleepless nights of every two hour feedings, temper tantrums over a pacifier, uncontrollable screaming while sucking enormous green boogers from my son’s nose, and throwing food from a high chair to announce dinner is over, one day I will reflect back and actually miss these moments. It is not like I want time to speed up, although I’d be lying to you if I said that I am actively living in the present and enjoying these difficult and stressful moments. It is not until I am reminded by family, friends, co workers and random strangers that kids grow up so fast, that I breathe a sigh of relief, attempt to count backwards from 15 to 1 to relax and then relish the crying, screaming and whining. It is difficult to believe now, but there will soon be a day when my boys plead with me to drop them off at the corner to avoid being seen with mom or when I lean in to give them a kiss, they turn their heads or when I attempt to engage in conversation and am met with one word responses that I will yearn for those early memories when my kids were solely dependent on me and my husband. According to just about every parent I encounter, kids grow up fast so enjoy every moment with them, even the bad ones.

Knowing that my kids will grow up fast, I am determined to form more good and fulfilling memories than bad and forgetful ones. Prior to the birth of my two sons, I had been keeping what some might call a “bucket list”. Since I was only in my 20’s when I started the list, I prefer to call it my “100 things” list because the bucket list to me sounds more like a list formed by individuals who late in life realize that their days are numbered and that they’d better get out any enjoy themselves before it is too late. My “100 things” list consisted of places to see, activities to try, and milestones to reach. One of my “100 things” was achieved on June 15, 2008 when Brice, my first son was born. It was then that I decided to modify my “100 things” list to include the things I want to make sure I do with my kids before they no longer want to be seen with me in public.

The list does not have to be formal. Instead, the act of spending time to identify the activities, places to visit and things to do with your kids is what matters most. As you set out to create your list, you will likely have several initial activities that come to mind, some of which you have experienced on your own but want to make sure you introduce to your kids. However, your list is likely to grow over time. I am one of those people who are gratified daily by being able to check items off the list so it is not uncommon for me to add things to the list that have already been achieved just to feel that rush of accomplishment as I check through the item. If your kids are older, make creating the list a group activity where everyone shares ideas of what activities, places to see etc. that each member wants on the list. Today, my list is collaboration between my husband and me. However, since our family “100 things” list is still growing, there will be plenty of time for us to engage our kids for ideas once they are old enough to contribute.

Looking for ideas to start your own family “100 things” list? Think about your family values and what is most important to your family. This will help you get to the core of what experiences, life lessons and things you want to make sure you expose your kids to over their lifetime. There is no timeframe in which the list has to be completed and although there is the sense that a timer will go off once our kids turn 18 and are shipped off to college or move out of the house, there are some things that might not be appropriate or appreciated by our kids until they are adults. The list should be a living list that adapts with your family. There is no rush to complete the list, instead focus on the journey and process of putting the list together and thoroughly enjoying each and every activity on the list as you complete the activities as a family.

Our family list is all over the place. It includes several places to visit because travel is something we love to do, but it also includes activities that provide a subtle lesson or learning experience. To give you an idea, the following are some of the items that have already made our family “100 things” list:

• Take a trip abroad
• Teach to snow ski
• Get the kids their own library cards
• Teach to drive stick shift
• Hold a job before college
• Take horse back riding
• Buy and own their own pet
• Teach to sail
• Volunteer together
• Teach to write “thank you notes”
• Research our family tree and learn about heritage
• Ride a roller coaster together
• Teach to cook and do household chores
• Take a self defense class
• Play an instrument
• Teach about saving money
• Visit – Grand Canyon, New York City, US National Parks, Disney World, Hershey, PA
• Open a lemonade stand in the neighborhood
• Keep a journal
• Lie in the grass and watch the clouds go by

Some items will items will take years of planning and will be achieved over time, some will be checked off spontaneously, however each will be enjoyed thoroughly.

We have an ambitious list and I only hope that we have the chance to achieve all the things as a family that we have set out to achieve. However, it is not the actual activities that are really important to me. Instead, what really matters is that my kids are exposed to many experiences that will help them to grow into independent, responsible, happy adults who strive to make a difference in their communities. It is an added bonus that in the act of teaching these values, we get to see the world together, learns new skills and builds life long family memories.

The next time someone utters to you, “kids grow up so fast”, hopefully you can reflect on your own family “100 things” list and respond, “I know, that is why I am planning to do everything I can to enjoy every moment and experience with them”.

Wine and Kids: They Can Go Together!

I love wine. I love my kids. However, rarely can I love them together at the same time. Or can I? With a little creativity and research, perhaps the two can be loved together.

It is never too early to teach your kids about wine appreciation. Getting kids to enjoy the same things we enjoy can be tough, but if we can identify ways to mix our interests with our kids interests, it just might work.

Enjoy Virginia Wines

Virginia is home to 157 wineries. In Northern VA, where I am located, there are 49 wineries mostly near Leesburg and Middleburg, both nestled in beautiful countryside. I doubt kids would be overwhelmed by the experience to be dragged from winery to winery while you taste and explore wines and they are left watching you as they suck grape juice from a sippy cup. Additionally, it is likely to be too stressful to taste and attempt to chase your kids around the tasting room, uttering “No, don’t touch that” or “keep your hands in your pockets, that is breakable”. Instead, you can plan out a local weekend wine adventure by keeping both your interests and the kids’ interests in mind so that everyone has an enjoyable time.

Planning Your Family Wine Activities

You have a couple of options when it comes to exploring wineries and their wines. You can plan your family wine adventure around an upcoming local wine festival. Alternatively, you can plan your own wine tour around visiting your local wineries or wine tasting events. Wine festivals are typically during the day and offer activities for everyone in the family. It is not uncommon for wine festivals to include arts, crafts, food, face painting for the kids, music, dancing and of course plenty of wine tasting. The festivals mostly take place on large fairgrounds with plenty of room for kids to frolic and run around. Virginia alone has several annual wine festivals and the following is a list of annual festivals in the DC metro area. For a complete listing of Virginia wine festivals go to http://www.virginiawinefestival.org/.

Northern Virginia Wine Festivals

DC's Holiday Wine Mall - holidaywinemall.com
Virginia Wine Showcase — VAWineShowcase.org
Great Grapes Wine Festival - UnCorktheFun.com
Mount Vernon Sunset Tasting — MountVernon.org
Virginia Wine & Craft Festival — WineAndCraftFestival.com
Vintage Virginia Wine Festival — VintageVirginia.com
DC's Wine Country Festival— VAFoodandWine.com
Manassas Wine & Jazz Festival — VisitManassas.org

Plan Your Own Family Wine Adventure

Planning your own family wine adventure is a fun alternative to attending a festival. Research your local wineries to become familiar with their activities and planned events. Included in your own family adventure could be a family picnic at the winery, time to run and play games on the winery grounds or a visit to the winery’s farm. Many wineries also grow produce and house animals such as horses. If so, plan to spend time touring the winery’s surroundings to check out the animals and other sites the winery has to offer. Reviewing the individual winery’s calendar of upcoming events is useful because wineries do host regular activities and events such as berry picking, concerts, hay rides or special family events surrounding holidays such as Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas. Also, if your kids can handle it you might consider taking a wine tour at one of the wineries. You only need to take one to get the gist of how grapes are grown and converted to wine. However, the tour will come across like a school field trip for your kids and who does not enjoy a field trip (as long as there is no test at the end)? For a list of Virginia wineries and their scheduled events go to http://www.virginiawine.org/. My favorites are Tarara Winery (www.tarara.com) and Breaux Vineyards (www.breauxvineyards.com). Both offer beautiful views, good wines to taste and often host weekend activities.

Host Your Own Wine Tasting Play Date

Finally, if you are not up for a festival or a trip to a winery, create your own family wine experience at home by adding a little adult entertainment to your next kids’ play date. You can host a wine tasting or wine party during the afternoon or happy hour time and invite parents to bring their kids. The kids can partake in a regular play date, while parents try different wines you selected for a wine tasting. For your own wine tasting you can identify a theme such as selecting wines from around the world, from a specific region or comparing wines from various regions. Try to prepare and select foods that reflect the wine regions you are featuring for your wine tasting. For tips on hosting your own wine tasting event try http://wine.about.com/od/holidayswithwine/ht/Winetastingpart.htm.

Whether you attend a wine festival, plan your own wine adventure, or host your own wine tasting and play date, cheers to you and your family for combining your interests and planning a fun activity together.

The Greatest Show on Earth, Not Quite Remembered

I chose not take the advice from friends who suggested taking a 21 month old and a 2 month old to the circus this past weekend would be a bad idea. “They won’t even make it to intermission.”

Although correct in that my 21 month old, Brice was over stimulated about 30 minutes into the show and did not make it to intermission, I do not regret the experience. For the initial 30 minutes of the show, my son Brice was on the edge of his seat. This was the first time he had been to a show of this magnitude where he was given the opportunity to sit in his own chair. His little legs barely dangled off of the end of chair, as he clutched one of his plastic animals which I believe was a cheetah that he brought from home and he had his baseball cap pulled down low, just barely above his eyes. You might say that he was sleeping with his hat pulled down so low and frankly I would normally agree because we can barely get him to wear his hat on any other occasion. However, he refused this time to even let us adjust the hat. Instead, he held on to it tightly as if to be in his own little zone. Each time I peered under his hat, his eyes were wide open in amazement. He also had his fingers pointing emphatically at every animal, clown, performer, light and automobile that entered the stage.

As the animals came out one by one, “horsy”, “zebra”, “elephant”, “doggy”, followed by sounds “Nah” and “Ruff” (I have not mastered translating a zebra or elephant sound for my son to practice), Brice shouted out in excitement. For 30 minutes Brice was completely engaged in the experience and was enjoying himself. I suppose that was all he needed to appreciate the experience of the circus. I knew going into the event that we could be there for all of 5 minutes or at the most to struggle to get to intermission. Brice instead lasted somewhere in between. I could have waited another 4 years until Brice was older to ensure that he would stay in his seat and last for most if not the entire circus. However, I am convinced that these early experiences and exposure are significant learning opportunities for Brice. He may not remember his 1^st circus visit when he reaches adulthood or even in a few years, but he will remember words he picked up like clown, dancer, fire and others and may associate these words later in life with things that he saw this past weekend at the circus.

Despite Brice not remembering much if any of the experience to tell his friends and family later, I guarantee I will never forget this fond memory of taking my sons to their first circus. I will especially recall cherishing the excitement on Brice’s face as the animals took center stage. I will be able to remind Brice of these memories, as he forms his own recollection of similar experiences, once he gets old enough to remember for himself.

Why wait to take kids to the zoo, aquarium, circus, and a musical performance, or on a special trip until we know they will be able to capture their own memories? Instead, I say use these early events and activities as learning experiences to help your young ones pick up new words, emotions and feelings that will be remembered for a lifetime.

On to our next family activity….a concert!

Odd and Even

I mentioned previously that I am a new mom so I am playing catch up on many concepts and ideas to make life easier for my expanding family. Although my kids are still young, 21 months and 2 months, it is never too early to identify a plan for settling those much-anticipated arguments. With my kids being only 19 months apart I am prepared for my boys to “love to hate” each other.

Recently I was in conversation with someone I met at a work function, not expecting to receive parenting advice. However, with the topic of having a newborn on my mind, it was sure to creep into the conversation. The man I was speaking with has two elementary school aged children and proclaimed to have the best advice for me to be summed up in three simple words “odd and even”. He could see I was perplexed and preceded to ask the birthdates of my two sons, “Jan 26 and June 15” I responded.

Although not a prerequisite to the odd and even theory, it certainly helps settle the initial argument of who takes odds and who takes evens. The concept is that all differences are settled upfront because with two boys, Cole, born on an even day, he gets to choose what we do on even days of the year and Brice, born on an odd day gets to choose what we do on odd days of the year. What cereal should we buy, what should we have for dinner, which park should we visit, what game should we play, what should we have for dessert, who picks the story? Such simple questions that are sure to cause confrontation amongst two young boys will now be easily settled. For an odd numbered day, Brice chooses and for an even numbered day, Cole chooses.

Ingenious! I know I won’t need to leverage this concept for a while, at least until both my boys can speak and begin to realize they have choices. However, I can breath a sigh of relief knowing that I already have a solution to address everyday confrontations associated with differing opinions and desires. I recognize that the odd and even theory is not the answer to all things, but introducing the concept early in my boys’ lives will hopefully help alleviate many of the everyday battles that could erupt.

If you have more than two kids, perhaps there are other similar concepts you can use to generate your own “odd and even” theory.

What other life changing theories are out there that I can store up now for when my boys get older? Care to share?

Traditional Traditions

What is a tradition? Is it serving a certain dinner at Christmas, taking an annual summer vacation together, or having a weekly family game night? I suspect that a family tradition is all of these things. Looking at an official definition, a tradition is a custom, belief or activity taught by one generation to the next. Each one of us has our own traditions that we have established and probably our own definition of a tradition.

We are almost one quarter a way through 2010 and typically my family reflects upon our goals and outlook for the coming year right around New Year’s. We are not late this year in doing so and have a running list of household and family goals for 2010 that range anywhere from repaving the driveway to going on a family vacation this summer. However, it was more recently that I began reflecting on family traditions when prompted to do so while reading the book, Bright From The Start: The Simple, Science-Backed Way to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind from Birth to Age3” by Jill Stamm, PH.D, which included a section on establishing and maintaining family traditions.

Growing up, I shared family traditions with my parents that included going to Grandma and Grandpa’s house in New Jersey for a big Thanksgiving dinner where all my Aunts, Uncles and cousins would gather. Another family tradition included an annual weeklong summer family vacation to Ocean City, MD. This annual vacation included several activities that I highly anticipated each year such as a visit to the water slide park, a walk on the boardwalk accompanied by my favorite junk food, at least one trip to Jolly Rodgers, the amusement park, and dinner at Fager’s Island to watch the sunset. Other less formal traditions were a trip to Wendy’s after soccer practice with my teammates, dinner together at the kitchen table when we were home to eat, and annual Easter egg hunts in my parents’ house.

Reflecting on my own family traditions from when I was a kid made me begin to think about the traditions I have established with my kids or would like to establish as they grow older. It occurred to me that my husband and I unknowingly had already begun to establish our own family traditions that have carried on even before our sons were born. We have been visiting NYC at Christmas time during the first week in December for the past 6 years. We host my parents for Christmas Eve dinner annually. We have a full cooked breakfast on Christmas morning prior to opening any gifts (as the kids get older I recognize this tradition will be impossible to keep). We visit our alma mater, William and Mary annually for Homecoming weekend. We have a pizza night every Thursday where we get take out and watch television together. We are not regular coffee drinkers, but thanks to the birth of our first son we were introduced to Dunkin Donuts Iced Coffee and have managed to crave it occasionally. As a result, Friday mornings have become Donut and Coffee mornings. There are probably a handful of other things we do regularly that I would now classify as a family tradition.

Now that my husband and I have a head start on instituting family traditions, we have identified other holidays and things that we would like to introduce over time as family traditions. I want us to have a list of traditions that include what I like to call “everyday” traditions and also special occasion traditions. Some traditions under consideration include our own annual summer beach vacation, a new brunch meal every Sunday at home, family participation in a race on Thanksgiving day, volunteering together at the holidays, take a family picture at each of my kids birthdays that I can save and put in an album, write a letter to each of my kids each birthday, have a weekly family activity night where we pick from a bag of random ideas, go out for dessert one night per week during the summer months, have a movie night as a family where we simulate being at the movies to include our favorite goodies, keep a family journal together, and do a craft with the boys to give to dad each Father’s Day.

Some of my long list of traditions may stick, some may not but the important thing to us is that we implement traditions that our kids enjoy and will one day share with their own families. The idea is to pass along the traditions between generations and have you kids and grandkids add to the list. My family plans to review our list of traditions annually as part of our regular New Year’s outlook to determine what traditions are working for the family, which traditions we like or don’t like and which we should consider adding to the running list. Our annual review of the family tradition list will become its own tradition to pass down to future generations.

"Don't Just Stand There, Bust A Move"

My toddler son will jiggle a leg or bob his head to just about any beat or sound, even a commercial selling dishwasher detergent or carpets as long as the commercial has a catchy tune. Busting into a dance off with my son is an activity that keeps us occupied on any rainy, snowy or even sunny day when we just need to burn off some energy. My son absolutely loves dancing with mom and dad and ignites with excitement and laughter when mom or dad pump up the music and showcase the dance skills we picked up years ago at a fraternity party or worse, a high school dance. He does not care if his parents can’t dance, he only cares that we try and dance with him.

Although not a huge hassle, we don’t always take the time to put in a CD (who uses CD’s anymore anyway) or plug in our laptop to the stereo system to play songs from our iTunes library, instead we have found the music channels available on our TV to do the trick. With my cox cable, these channels are in the 400s and range anywhere from party favorites (some oldies, but goodies) to country, to R&B, to rap to dance music. There are children’s channels and every decade from the 50’s to today are represented. You might even find some of your old favorites on these channels that help you reflect on your high school, big hair days. It is so easy to go to one of these channels and to start our dance off. Another recommendation is the Palladia channel (http://www.palladia.tv/) if you have it. This channel shows live concerts all day long so not only do you hear the music, you see the artists as well. My son enjoys watching the performers every once in awhile as well. Although I think he prefers to just watch himself in the mirror or to watch mom and dad make fools of themselves.

Next time your kids feel like “getting’ jiggy with it”, encourage their behavior and join in. Don’t wait for a rainy day or a time when your kids are bored, instead make dancing together a regular routine to burn off energy, get some exercise and simply to be silly together.

We Love St. Patrick’s Day in Washington, DC

When you think of cities that pride themselves on St. Patty’s Day celebrations what cities first come to mind? Boston, Chicago, NYC (not sure exactly what NYC does to celebrate but since the city does every other holiday big I figured it does something), Savannah (I have been to Savannah during St. Patrick’s Day so I know firsthand that they throw quite a celebration for the day) and Washington, DC.

Washington, DC, you ask? Yes, believe it or not, I do mean DC. Actually, in such a diverse city with a lot of heritage and culture, it is not too surprising that Washington, DC is the host of several St. Patty’s Day festivities. For families, the highlight of the St. Patty’s Day festivities are both the parades held in Alexandria VA on March 6^th this year and Washington DC, called the Nation’s St. Patrick’s Day Parade on March 14^th

^{(http://dc.about.com/od/stpatricksday/a/DCStPatricksDay.htm.)}

^{Additionally, Manassas, VA on March 13th http://www.stpatparade.net/ and Gaithersburg, MD on March 13th http://dc.about.com/od/stpatricksday/a/GaithStPats.htm also host their own St. Patrick’s Day parades. Finally, DC hosts the annual Shamrock Festival, held March 13th which includes activities for the entire family such as 40 live bands representing all genres, carnival rides and games for kids. There is truly something at the Shamrock Festival for everyone. For more information go to http://www.shamrockfest.com/2010/}

My favorite is the St. Patrick’s Day parade held in Alexandria, VA, which is a true celebration of the Irish-American heritage. The annual parade, held March 6^th goes from 12:30 p.m. – 2:30 p.m. kicks off with a Classic Car Show Competition that begins at 10:00 a.m. followed by a dog show that begins at 10:30 a.m. and concludes just prior to the start of the parade. The parade provides everything you would expect from a St. Patrick’s Day parade to include marching bands, bag pipes bands, Irish dancers decorated in beautiful costumes and plenty of green and orange. However, my favorite part of the parade has to be the marching of what seems like hundreds of Irish Wolf Hounds that are represented in all sizes. The kids really get a kick out of watching these not so common dogs strut their stuff.

One of the best parts about the Alexandria parade is that it is always held the first Saturday in March, which offers a great way to kick of the St. Patty’s Day festivities. Most other local activities take place the following weekend, or the weekend just prior to St. Patrick’s Day. By the time March hits in DC, we are ready to say good-bye to winter. Despite Spring still being a few weeks away, this year in particular us Washingtonians are more than ready to launch into Spring. What better way to get an advanced step on Spring than to get out to the parade in Alexandria? No matter how cold it is, participants will just be happy to be out and about.

The annual event is hosted by the Ballyshaners, a not-for-profit group. For more information about the Ballyshaners go to www.ballyshaners.org or for information about the parade go to http://alexandriava.gov/news_display.aspx?id=30828

Let me know if I have missed any fun and festive St. Patty’s Day activities in the DC area. Not in DC, share your own hometown St. Patrick’s Day traditions, stories and local fun activities.