My Family "100 Things" List

All right, I get it! Despite today’s sleepless nights of every two hour feedings, temper tantrums over a pacifier, uncontrollable screaming while sucking enormous green boogers from my son’s nose, and throwing food from a high chair to announce dinner is over, one day I will reflect back and actually miss these moments. It is not like I want time to speed up, although I’d be lying to you if I said that I am actively living in the present and enjoying these difficult and stressful moments. It is not until I am reminded by family, friends, co workers and random strangers that kids grow up so fast, that I breathe a sigh of relief, attempt to count backwards from 15 to 1 to relax and then relish the crying, screaming and whining. It is difficult to believe now, but there will soon be a day when my boys plead with me to drop them off at the corner to avoid being seen with mom or when I lean in to give them a kiss, they turn their heads or when I attempt to engage in conversation and am met with one word responses that I will yearn for those early memories when my kids were solely dependent on me and my husband. According to just about every parent I encounter, kids grow up fast so enjoy every moment with them, even the bad ones.

Knowing that my kids will grow up fast, I am determined to form more good and fulfilling memories than bad and forgetful ones. Prior to the birth of my two sons, I had been keeping what some might call a “bucket list”. Since I was only in my 20’s when I started the list, I prefer to call it my “100 things” list because the bucket list to me sounds more like a list formed by individuals who late in life realize that their days are numbered and that they’d better get out any enjoy themselves before it is too late. My “100 things” list consisted of places to see, activities to try, and milestones to reach. One of my “100 things” was achieved on June 15, 2008 when Brice, my first son was born. It was then that I decided to modify my “100 things” list to include the things I want to make sure I do with my kids before they no longer want to be seen with me in public.

The list does not have to be formal. Instead, the act of spending time to identify the activities, places to visit and things to do with your kids is what matters most. As you set out to create your list, you will likely have several initial activities that come to mind, some of which you have experienced on your own but want to make sure you introduce to your kids. However, your list is likely to grow over time. I am one of those people who are gratified daily by being able to check items off the list so it is not uncommon for me to add things to the list that have already been achieved just to feel that rush of accomplishment as I check through the item. If your kids are older, make creating the list a group activity where everyone shares ideas of what activities, places to see etc. that each member wants on the list. Today, my list is collaboration between my husband and me. However, since our family “100 things” list is still growing, there will be plenty of time for us to engage our kids for ideas once they are old enough to contribute.

Looking for ideas to start your own family “100 things” list? Think about your family values and what is most important to your family. This will help you get to the core of what experiences, life lessons and things you want to make sure you expose your kids to over their lifetime. There is no timeframe in which the list has to be completed and although there is the sense that a timer will go off once our kids turn 18 and are shipped off to college or move out of the house, there are some things that might not be appropriate or appreciated by our kids until they are adults. The list should be a living list that adapts with your family. There is no rush to complete the list, instead focus on the journey and process of putting the list together and thoroughly enjoying each and every activity on the list as you complete the activities as a family.

Our family list is all over the place. It includes several places to visit because travel is something we love to do, but it also includes activities that provide a subtle lesson or learning experience. To give you an idea, the following are some of the items that have already made our family “100 things” list:

• Take a trip abroad
• Teach to snow ski
• Get the kids their own library cards
• Teach to drive stick shift
• Hold a job before college
• Take horse back riding
• Buy and own their own pet
• Teach to sail
• Volunteer together
• Teach to write “thank you notes”
• Research our family tree and learn about heritage
• Ride a roller coaster together
• Teach to cook and do household chores
• Take a self defense class
• Play an instrument
• Teach about saving money
• Visit – Grand Canyon, New York City, US National Parks, Disney World, Hershey, PA
• Open a lemonade stand in the neighborhood
• Keep a journal
• Lie in the grass and watch the clouds go by

Some items will items will take years of planning and will be achieved over time, some will be checked off spontaneously, however each will be enjoyed thoroughly.

We have an ambitious list and I only hope that we have the chance to achieve all the things as a family that we have set out to achieve. However, it is not the actual activities that are really important to me. Instead, what really matters is that my kids are exposed to many experiences that will help them to grow into independent, responsible, happy adults who strive to make a difference in their communities. It is an added bonus that in the act of teaching these values, we get to see the world together, learns new skills and builds life long family memories.

The next time someone utters to you, “kids grow up so fast”, hopefully you can reflect on your own family “100 things” list and respond, “I know, that is why I am planning to do everything I can to enjoy every moment and experience with them”.