Water, Water Everywhere!

Swimming, boating, tubing, jet skiing, water skiing, wake boarding, knee boarding, jumping on a trampoline (in the water), swinging on a rope and dropping into water, fishing, canoeing, kayaking, splashing, diving, and spraying. There are so many things you can do to entertain you and your families with water and I have not even scratched the surface.

We are still a few weeks away from the first official day of summer. However, my family’s summer activities were jumpstarted this weekend when we visited Lake Anna, located about 90 miles South West of DC, thanks to some dear friends who hosted us. This was a momentous trip to the lake for our family, particularly our son Brice. Just shy of his second birthday, he experienced tubing, riding on a jet ski (with my arms clenched around his waist of course) and jumping repeatedly into the lake from the dock after being cued to do so by the ever so famous nursery rhyme that ends in “ashes, ashes, we all fall down”.

I really did not give Brice much of a chance to veto the water activities. I figured he was too young to be scared since he’d never fallen off a tube, been thrust from a jet ski or touched the bottom of a slimy, gritty lake. As a result, I had him jump in two feet, literally to overcome any anxiety he might have had of the water. I am however, reluctant to admit that he was not overwhelmed by the tubing experience and unbelievably he conked out asleep sitting up, while going 30+ miles an hour on a jet ski. That said, he did not really complain either and I am anticipating future breakdowns when he has to share turns or I announce it is time to go home for the day.

Every kid has their own personality including their own dislikes, likes, fears, anxieties, traits and idiosyncrasies. I can’t be guaranteed my boys are going to like everything their dad and I expose them to or that they will always want to partake in the activities we set out to do as a family. However, I will strive to expose the boys to as much as possible and after at least giving things a try, encourage the boys to draw their own conclusions and develop their own preferences. Trying is key because I can’t bear the thought of raising kids who are afraid of things.

So back to my initial rambling about water, this is many times the cause of fear and anxiety for people. I can’t imagine growing up being fearful of water activities, but I do recognize that many people have developed anxiety associated with drowning. My goal will be to seek out and attempt as many water related activities as I can think of to do with my sons with the hope of making them feel comfortable about water.

Water activities are synonymous with summer. At the beach you can go swimming, jump in waves, wade in the water, sail, surf, boogie board, rest on a raft or at the pool you can dive, play water games, compete in water relays, do water aerobics, play water polo or other sports like water basketball volleyball. Despite not having readily available access to a pool, lake or ocean, there are still plenty of other good, fun water activities to be enjoyed. Washing cars, running in the sprinkler, tossing water balloons, and squirting water guns are everyday water activities to be enjoyed in the backyard or at a local park. All you really need is a good hot, summer day filled with plenty of sunshine and access to some water to plan your water related activities.

Some water activities will be easy, some more difficult. I can’t promise my boys will enjoy all water activities, but I can promise I will expose them to as many water related activities I can think of and then have them decide when and how they will enjoy engaging in water activities throughout their lives. Bring on summer!

Be The Change in the World You Want To See

I suppose as women we have kids because we have this innate feeling of striving to make a difference and having an impact on something greater than ourselves. However, that feeling may never feel completely satisfied and as a result we are continuously yearning for ways to continue to make a difference in our neighborhoods, workplaces, or communities. The challenge is finding the time with all the regular responsibilities we are balancing to exercise our philanthropic desires.

I am fortunate that my employer facilitates a quarterly employee volunteer day. I had the opportunity to participate in one of these volunteer days yesterday. Our assignment was to work at a Habitat for Humanity ReStore (www.habitat.org) which is a resale outlet that collects donations such as house fixtures and resells the items to help fund Habitat for Humanity house construction. There are several ReStore locations nationwide and a majority of the stores are run by volunteers who work daily to stock and organize merchandise or work the store floor.

There are so many wonderful organizations that are in desperate need of help and thrive on volunteer support. Most organizations will take as much or as little time that people can give. Outside of the volunteer days scheduled by my employer, I rarely find time anymore to volunteer. As a result, I have researched volunteer options that include the ability to volunteer from home by providing online support or pro bono services. Organizations such as icouldbe.org allow you to be an online mentor for neglected high school students. As a volunteer, you can mentor up to 5 students online throughout the school year. You have the opportunity to communicate weekly with your mentees by sending emails and reviewing progress against activities that are developed as part of the icouldbe curriculum. The nice part about this program is that you can participate on your own schedule as long as you check in with your mentees weekly and provide regular feedback.

In addition to online volunteer programs, organizations are always looking for people who possess relevant skills to contribute on a pro bono basis. For example, my educational and professional experience are in marketing so I have helped one organization in particular, the US VETS DC develop and execute a marketing and outreach program to raise awareness and generate donations for the organization. Almost any non-profit would welcome similar support or other services such as accounting, legal, general consulting or financial advice.

My kids are not old enough yet, but in an effort to increase my ability to volunteer and to teach my kids the importance of giving back to their communities, in the future I intend to seek out volunteer activities that we can do together as a family. There are vast opportunities for parents and their kids to volunteer together in the community. Organizations or activities might include planting a tree for a school, playing games at the local retirement home, working at a pet adoption fair, cleaning up a local park, distributing flyers to generate outreach for an organization or passing out water at a race. The activity could be organized through an official organization or it could be an activity you decide to do as a family by gathering some friends and neighbors to make a difference.

Whatever your passion, there is likely to be an organization or activity where you can donate your time to make a difference. If your passion is kids, find a local hospital, school or park that might need help. Organizations such as The Children’s Inn at NIH (www.childrensinn.org), The Nation’s Children’s Hospital (www.childrensnational.org), or the March of Dimes (www.marchofdimes.com) are great organizations to seek out to learn about volunteer opportunities. If your passion is the environment, try the Sierra Club (http://www.sierraclub.org) or the Nature Conservancy (www.nature.org) . If your passion is animals check out the National Wildlife Federation (www.nwf.org), or The Humane Society (www.humanesociety.org). If your passion is health or helping to fight a prevalent disease try the Lance Armstrong Foundation (www.livestrong.org), Susan G. Komen Organization (ww5.komen.org), National Cancer Society (www.cancer.org), or the Michael J Fox Foundation (www.michaeljfox.org).

If you can’t spare time right now, you can still make a difference. Donate money, run a race to raise money or just become educated about an important cause and be an evangelist in the community for that cause. At the least you can strive to make a difference everyday at home and with everyone you encounter so that your positive attitude is contagious and encourages others to do their small part to make the world a better place.

Here We Go Round the Merry Go Round- A Trip to Glen Echo Park

Our trips to Glen Echo Park, MD are always centered around rides on the merry go round. This past weekend was the opening season for the merry go round at the park and Brice along with a couple of his buddies were among the first kids to break in the merry go round for 2010.

If you live in the DC metro area, I am guessing you have heard of Glen Echo Park. Up until last year when my first son, Brice turned 1, I had no reason to know about the park. In fact, my only exposure to the park prior to having kids was by accidentally parking my car in the lot while trying to have lunch at the Irish Inn (more on that later).

Like most of you, I am constantly looking for ideas and activities to keep my kids occupied (my younger son, Cole is too young to care but hopefully he reaps the benefits later of us checking out all the local activities and can eliminate anything that Brice does not enjoy). Glen Echo Park is just one of those local ideas that we have investigated as a family. If you are not familiar with the park and come upon it, you might think it is a ghost town, literally. Unless there is a special activity going on at the park, which fortunately is pretty frequent, the old amusement park looks desolate. However, from the first of May through early October, you can at least be guaranteed that the merry go round is open and that the playground is usable. The playground by normal standards is not really much, but since it is located adjacent to the merry go round, it offers a suitable alternative. I mean, how many times can your kids ride the merry go round? They might think all day, but you will either run out of money or eventually their short attention spans will wane. Despite there not being a lot to the playground, I do like the soft rubber surface and there are a couple of climbing apparatuses that are somewhat interesting. Of course there are a couple sets of swings and a small field to play on as well.

Aside from the merry go round and small playground, what else is there to do at Glen Echo Park? Before I get to the planned activities, I have to address the many picnic tables. The park is a great place for a picnic or even a birthday party. There must be close to 40 picnic tables. There is a small concession stand that sells your typical park food such as hot dogs, pizza and candy but if you are looking for something a little healthier, you’d better bring food from home. Of course if you don’t feel like a picnic nor are satisfied by junk food, you could always try the Irish Inn located next door (I told you I would revisit this topic). The Irish Inn is worth its own blog, but for now I will tell you that it is an authentic Irish restaurant that includes Irish favorites such as shepard’s pie, bangers and beans and of course plenty of Guinness. I believe most of the waiters are straight from Ireland, which adds to the experience. I highly recommend the restaurant whether you tack a visit on to a trip to Glen Echo Park or skip the park completely and simply go to enjoy the food.

Other than the Merry Go Round and the playground, I admit I don’t know much about the park. My step-dad, a Maryland native told me that the park was once a very popular amusement park. That is no surprise because the facade of the amusement rides, movie theater and candy stand still exist, they are just not typically in operation. Prior to being an amusement park, the location was a Chautauqua retreat. Clearly, there is a lot of history with the park.

Today, the park does play host to several festivals such as the Hot Jazz & Cool Blues Gala. Additionally, the park offers regular classes in pottery, painting, photography, glass art, music and textiles. There are often regular theater or puppet shows and dance activities. There is no shortage of educational activities, just be sure to check the park’s calendar so you are aware of what activities are planned.

I don’t really feel I’ve done the park justice by sharing my experiences with you. My family has not taken full advantage of everything the park has to offer. Maybe we will one day take a class, or attend a puppet show or even participate in one of the park’s festivals. In the meantime, we will continue to use the park for what my son enjoys the most, riding the “horsey’s” on the merry go round, being pushed on the swing set, climbing the jungle gym or just meandering around the big open space. A trip to the park usually means a stop by the Irish Inn, so I am always up for the visit.

Check out Glen Echo Park for yourself at http://www.glenechopark.org/index.htm or the Irish Inn at http://www.irishinnglenecho.com/.

I "Get" To

I get to take my kids to daycare. I get to fix them breakfast and dinner everyday. I get to wake up in the middle of the night to feed my 3 month old. I get to go to the grocery store every Sunday. I get to do laundry on the weekends. I get to work and commute in traffic. I get to run and exercise when I can. I get to change dirty diapers.

Did I start my sentences correctly? It sounds strange to me as I read these statements back to myself. What is different? I changed one simple word in each of these tasks that are on my automatic to do list. It is amazing that by changing “have” to “get” how much the meaning of the statement changes.

It really did not dawn on me just how much I was assuming a negative approach to my daily activities until this past week after reading the article, “Feeling Lucky” by Kristen Armstrong (Lance Armstrong’s ex wife) in the May issue of Runner’s World. I suppose I really don’t “have” to do anything other than breathe and eat and drink to fuel my body. Sure that sounds oversimplified, but think about how many activities we elect or get to do every single day that we take for granted.

The article was timely. The article came into my lap just a few days after learning that a close family friend has been diagnosed with Stage 3 lung cancer. A seemingly healthy, and active father, husband, colleague, son, coach and neighbor diagnosed with cancer. Unfortunately, it typically takes sad news to encourage us to reevaluate ourselves and put things in perspective. On a positive note, this same week I learned that another friends’ 15 month old son has no brain damage after undergoing an MRI that was recommended by doctors to give clarity on their sons slow progress with attaining many infant and toddler milestones. Bracing for bad news, my friend was in shock to learn that her son’s brain is completely normal and that his setbacks are likely only temporary and he is on his way to live a very long, healthy and happy life.

It is not like I needed a reminder just how cruel life can be or just how quickly life can change. I know I am not unlike many of you who have experienced tragedy and has had to remind myself just how lucky I am to have my family, my health, my friends, and my career which all give me the opportunity to do the things I love, like, tolerate or even dislike. There are many people who would love to go to the grocery store and purchase groceries for their family, but can’t because they do not have enough money. There are others who would give anything to be able to jog up a single hill, but can’t because they are paralyzed. There are many people who would love to change their baby’s diaper, but can’t because they lost their baby to a tragedy.

So now that I have depressed you, hopefully I can change your mindset by encouraging you to re-evaluate your daily tasks, take into consideration those less fortunate than you and remind yourself of every single think you “get” to do in a day, week, month, year or lifetime. I bet your list adds up to a lot of “gets” and very few “have” to’s. I hope I can inscribe this new mantra into my daily routine by reminding myself the next time I am feeling tired, overworked, over played, worn out, and unproductive, that I am the luckiest person in the world to “get” to change a diaper, prepare for a presentation, sit in traffic, cook dinner, or do laundry.

To view Kristen Armstrong’s article, “Feeling Lucky” in the May issue of Runner’s World go to http://www.runnersworld.com/article/0,7120,s6-243-297--13480-0,00.html

Family Activity Night

I was inspired to pull together some ideas for a weekly family activity night by a recent email received from a family friend (thanks Barbara). My friend, whose kids are now in high school and college reminisced about her weekly activity night with her “babies” after one of my previous blogs triggered her fond memories of these special evenings. She relayed how Monday nights were designated a special night for a family picnic in their living room. She said that her family replicated an outdoors picnic by “literally spreading a blanket on the floor-- we would either carry out stuff (McDonald’s of course!)--or carry out from our favorite local restaurant- McLean Family--- or whatever-- but we made it a tradition every Monday night.” Despite her kids being all grown up, to this day they remember their Monday family evenings with such happiness.

It does not matter what night of the week your family designates or what activities you decide to do together on family activity night. Instead, what is important is establishing at least one special night a week to do something together. I think establishing the same night every week to ensure a routine is also important. Weeks go by too quickly and despite everyone’s good intentions to carve out family time weekly, it becomes difficult to ensure this quality time is shared if it is not part of a routine.

There are so many things you can do as part of family activity night. Your family might enjoy establishing a weekly tradition of doing the same thing each week during your designated family activity night. Perhaps there is a special game everyone enjoys playing. If playing games are something your family enjoys doing together, perhaps family activity night becomes family game night. Other ideas for the weekly activity night might be a family movie night, TV dinner night or pizza night. Pizza night could be replaced with any special food your family craves that otherwise would likely not be at the top of a Jenny Craig diet plan. Maybe your family would like to have a reading night where you take a book and read it aloud as a family. If the kids are old enough, each can take turns reading aloud a portion of the book. You could visit a special playground together, take a family walk, or attempt something else outside. Alternatively, you could use the activity night to bake or cook something new that is shared amongst yourselves or delivered to a neighbor, friend, relative or prepared for classmates.

If your family is indecisive and likes to try many different activities, you might try what my husband and I use to refer to as “picking from the bag”. Even before the kids were born, we use to have a weekly “pick from the bag” night where we would collect a list of activities that we enjoyed doing together. The list was cut up into individual pieces of paper each with a reference to an activity that we liked to do. Activities included names of special restaurants, ideas for meals to cook and a list of things to do like go to the movies, rent a movie, go out for dessert, take a walk, go to the pool, go to the driving range and other ideas. We liked the idea of having several choices, but also liked the spontaneity of not knowing exactly what was planned for the evening. We knew we were going to do something during our weekly “pick from the bag” night, but there was an element of surprise because we did not know what we’d be doing until it was time to start the activity. You can institute the same concept for your own family activity night. Simply, poll the family on activities that everyone enjoys and capture them on individual pieces of paper that you then collect in a jar or bag that is used to pick from weekly on family activity night.

There are so many things you and your family could do on your weekly family activity night and I anticipate many of you could come up with more creative activities than I have suggested. I hope you will share some of these ideas for your own family activity night. Don’t stress about what you do or spend a lot of time planning. Instead, the activity is really irrelevant. What really matters is that you and your family are spending time to together.

Back to Reality

Taking things one day at a time never had so much meaning to me as it did today. Doomsday as I was subconsciously referring to the day this past weekend came and went and I am left with a little downtime prior to going to bed to start the cycle all over again tomorrow.

I was dreading today, the first day of daycare for Cole, just shy of 11 weeks old. Luckily, the routine was not too unfamiliar since I have been dropping off Brice, almost 22 months at the same daycare since he was 9 weeks old. I know Cole will be extremely well cared for and Graham and I could not be happier with the facility and caregivers.

I tried not to think about taking Cole to daycare this morning and returning to work this past weekend. We kept a busy schedule of visiting the playground, dining out, watching movies, and grocery shopping to minimize the amount of downtime I would have to stress and contemplate the inevitable. The details of today never really distracted me until this morning around 3:30 a.m. I woke for the first time, but not to the cries of Cole who has only managed two full nights of sleep since his birth, but instead to my unsettled thoughts about returning to work, dropping Cole off at daycare and reminiscing on several weeks of enjoying bonding moments with Cole. Cole did manage to sleep through the night for the second straight night and for the third overall night since his birth. However, I lay in bed silent and motionless until the alarm startled us at 5:30, the earliest it has gone off since January 26th, Cole’s birthday. Adrenaline had pumped in so I sprung from bed with an agenda. I managed a shower, not such a bad start, followed by preparing Cole’s milks for daycare, setting up breakfast for everyone, feeding Roxy, our dog and then on to help Graham wake the boys and then get them dressed with a few minutes leftover for me to blow dry my hair (an even better start) and get myself ready to conquer the day.

Now off to daycare. Graham and I did the drop off together today. Graham took Brice into his classroom and I took Cole to introduce him to his new daily surroundings. Brice erupted at the site of his class as he does most Monday mornings. What can I say, we pack his weekends full of activities and the attachment anxiety typically sets in Monday mornings until we are out of sight? Despite the potential of an emotional breakdown, I decided to face it head on and volunteered to take Cole back to meet his caretakers. The process was pretty seamless since I was already familiar with the routine from when we dropped Brice off several months ago. After checking Cole in I did not linger around, instead I shuffled out of the building without turning back. I knew a double take would trigger my own meltdown.

I failed to mention that not only was this Cole’s first day of daycare and my return to work after 11 weeks, but also my first day on a new job. I felt like starting daycare and returning to work was not enough stress for the family so I thought I’d add some excitement by taking on the challenge of a new job which brings a whole list of unknowns to include new commute, new co-workers, new responsibilities, new expectations and of course new emotions. Insights on the new job are worth its own blog comments. It is just worth mentioning here to emphasize the heightened emotions experienced by me and the family on this momentous day.

Today actually went off without a hitch. I think we are well on our way to establishing our new long term routine. Although I missed Cole often and even had to prop up a couple of temporary pictures of Cole on my desk until I get frames for them, I selfishly relished in the little freedom I had to check email, respond to questions, do research and dare I say, feel productive. Until I win the lottery, I am not ready to quit my day job. Different strokes for different folks, but today reaffirmed that although I love my boys more than anything; I am okay with returning to the office. I can now appreciate the very best part of my day again, picking Brice and Cole up and giving them a hug at the end of the day.

Good-Bye Maternity Leave

Wow, this is not going to be easy but life as I know it is about to change again! I am coming to the end of what is likely to be my second and last maternity leave. Luckily, I have been through the process of returning to work after being out on maternity leave in 2008 after the birth of my first son, Brice so I know what to expect, right?

I thought I did and as a result this last week as I reflect back on my time off and anticipate the dreadful arrival of next Monday, I still can’t help but feel incredibly sad about not spending every wakeful moment with my 11 week old son, Cole.

Eleven weeks at home have flown by. When you factor in a week spent at the hospital, being snowed in for a couple of weeks, day after day of diaper changing, feedings every two hours, failing miserably to get Cole on a regular nap schedule, attempting to teach Cole the difference between day and night, chasing my toddler, Brice around the house, trying to squeeze in daily workouts for myself, constant burping and rocking as a result of Cole’s gassy stomach, I can see how the days blended together and within what seems like a blink of an eye, my precious time at home with Cole has expired.

Like many of you, I set extremely high expectations for my time off. Have the fence fixed, get the cars serviced, put together a journal for Cole, begin a photo album of the boys, clean out every closet in the house, meet up with several friends during the week, plan our summer vacation, set up 529 plans for the boys and attempt to keep up on my social media accounts. However, as I look back on my long list, I notice very few check marks. What did I get accomplished during my time off?

It would seem that nothing was accomplished during my short weeks at home. However, when faced with the question and feeling completely unproductive over the past 11 weeks, it hits me like a slap in the face. Wake up! Okay, that may be difficult because I have also been in a trance of sleeplessness and have often referred to these early days as the fog. However, as the fog subtly lifts and I lose sight of my “mommy brain” to get myself back in gear to face reality, I also wise up to the purpose of what I was actually suppose to accomplish during these past weeks. House projects, meet ups with friends, and travel plans are all irrelevant. Maternity leave is called “maternity” for a reason. My time off was to focus on building the bond between myself and my precious new son, Cole. The purpose of this precious time was to introduce him to his new world, get him comfortable with his surroundings, introduce him to various routines such as a sleep and eating schedules, settle him when he is fussy, read to him, sing songs to him, rest him on my stomach, log tummy time, smile at him, encourage him to coo and smile back. Each one of these milestones was a significant accomplishment for both Cole and me.

So I return to work with a long to do list that continues to grow. Some of the activities will eventually be addresses, others will be de-prioritized and eventually confirmed irrelevant. I am happy to admit that my "honey due" list was virtually ignored because it confirms that my time was wisely and emotionally spent building memories with Cole. Of course I am going to miss spending every day with Cole, but I know I will cherish each moment even more with him since our moments together will be more finite. I also know that returning to work is an inevitable milestone that needs to occur before Cole starts hitting many of his crucial goals like sleeping through the night, crawling, and walking. My husband equates my going back to work like running an out and back race, “you know you can’t reach the finish until you hit the turnaround.” My turnaround is returning to work and my finish line is infinite. Instead it is the miles and miles I have the opportunity to cover with Cole, his brother Brice and my husband Graham during our lifelong journey together. Although manic Monday awaits, I am excited to move onto our next phase together.